A Tale about Time…

Threshold hits next week, and to be honest, I didn’t expect this release to be as big of a deal as it is. Not “big deal” like it’s going to be massive or successful (though I hope) but it’s a big deal to me and my time as a writer, and the closer we get, the more I realize that impact.

2007. I was halfway through my film degree, and every thought was a lofty ambition. I wrote scripts and short stories and shot films and immersed myself in creativity. There was nothing I couldn’t do with enough ink and caffeine. I had recently discovered NaNoWriMo (though I was far from finding a group) and was certain this was something I wanted to do.

Threshold was a buzzing in my brain that, like most of my stories, started with an idea. It would be a beautiful failure that year, but it would follow me. The story had planted a seed in my brain, and that seed began to flourish. It was an idea that I knew would get under people’s skin – how could it not?

My delight is introducing my readers to something ordinary and building that into something terrible that clings to them in reality. I like to think I am accomplishing that. With Empty Hallways, I capitalized on the inherent creepiness of hospitals. In Threshold, I explore the oddity that is our own reflections.

Have you ever just stared at your reflection? Not yourself, but your reflection: the person looking back at you; the world they are limited to living in. But if you stare too long, things start to unravel. You can say a word so many times, it stops making sense and feels more like a made up sound. I’ve stared at my reflection so long that it doesn’t even compute anymore: just a mess of shapes and colors that follow my impulses. That’s where the fun begins.

If you stare too long at any object, your brain starts canceling out unnecessary information. In other words, your reflection changes. It starts taking on a life of its own. (Yes, this is the kind of insanity that some of my stories start from.)

I tried to gather all of these thoughts and put them onto paper and create a story. I was clearly not ready back in 2007, but the seed kept growing. The vignettes I created back then remain. A couple of scenes in the book are now polished, fully-realized ideas that started back then.

The first scrawled page of what would be Threshold…

Flash forward about ten years. I’m looking for my next novel, when I remember this concept. I start fleshing out the idea, but I’m distracted by flashy concepts and fun new ideas. I continue to struggle with the idea – because sometimes you do. Everything is hard now and again. Some stories come easy; some not at all.

The bones got organized, and life decided to get complicated. I started taking some online classes. Bailey and I bought a house. Then we got married. And through all this wonderment, writing took a back seat. I plinked around a little, I got some things written, but mostly, the author was sleeping.

I have a number of writing groups I belong to – or have belonged to. But while Threshold was still a dusty, shambling mess, a new group formed. We meet pretty regularly. It’s less a writing group and more a support group made of writers. What’s the difference? No competition for starters. We share in each other’s successes and frustrations. We don’t judge. We are there for each other. I’ve had good groups before, but this is an intimate group of honest friends – they’re helpful and even their physical presence and the sound of their typing was its own security. Threshold came together under this group’s support.

It wasn’t this group alone. Bailey has always been there, supporting me through the frustration and the threats and the whining (oh, how I can whine when the book won’t cooperate). My friends regularly asked about how it was coming along. People I met at shows chatted with me about the story, and were excited for it to happen.

Eventually, it did.

Next week, you’ll see for yourself.

But it has been a community effort, whether they knew they were a community rallied around me and a story, I don’t know, but the people in my life are amazing supporters. Thank you.

Threshold releases May 1, kindle and paperback. Preorder now.

Another Big Goodbye…

We lost another legend this week. By the time I get this out, Stan Lee will already be looking down on us all from the Rainbow Bridge, standing proud and admiring the world he has left in his wake.

And even though I am sad that he is gone (because really, for a minute there, I thought he might be immortal), I can’t be that sad. You see, Stan planned ahead; he left us in good hands. His legacy is intact. He won’t ever be completely gone.

See, it started a long time ago. Stan, along with a bunch of other greats – Steve Ditko, John Romita, Jack Kirby – started telling stories that infected the minds of a generation. That infection spread, and not only did the comics spawn into cartoons, and later movies, but it did something else – it got into our imaginations. The legacy that Stan helped create is a keystone for so many creative people today. They’ve come out of the woodwork to celebrate his life through stories about how he inspired them all.

For me, Stan Lee was the guy behind Spider-Man, and Spidey was integral to my upbringing and the shaping of who I am. Spidey was a nobody who was given a gift, and he rose to the occasion without fail – even when the odds are against him. In the Sunday comics, on Saturday morning cartoons, and once (sometimes twice!) monthly at the comic shop, I watched a nerd accept Great Power and Great Responsibility and imagined how great it would be if such a gift was bestowed unto me.

I’ve never been given such power (it’s probably for the best). But what I failed to realize was what Stan was really showing me in those stories. Whether it’s Peter Parker, or Steve Rogers, or the Richards Family, when you discard the costumes and let go of the powers for a moment, what you have is a set of powers that any of us can wield:

Love, courage, kindness, tenacity.

Spidey never gives up. Cap never backs down. Johnny and Sue always have each other’s backs. All this time, I was reading comics to escape, and Stan was teaching me – and teaching his apprentices to teach us – that I had my own strengths. That I could be something more than I was, if I wanted to be. If I was willing to face adversity and keep getting up when things knocked me down. If I was willing to be one of the good guys.

It’s not as easy as the comics make it look. Somedays, I don’t want to face the adversity at all. But I do it. I get back into the thick of it and I try to make the world better, whenever and however I can. It’s hard sometimes but I’m still trying. I’m trying to be one of the good guys.

And no, Stan doesn’t get all of the credit, but he’s inspired a lot of people who have inspired me, so he gets a solid mention in my life’s acknowledgements.

Here’s to The Man: his absence will be noticed, but so will his influence.

I’ll wrap this up with a couple of awesome quotes from Stan himself:

“I used to be embarrassed because I was just a comic-book writer while other people were building bridges or going on to medical careers. And then I began to realize: entertainment is one of the most important things in people’s lives. Without it they might go off the deep end. I feel that if you’re able to entertain people, you’re doing a good thing.” – from The Washington Post, July 23, 2010

“If we don’t blow ourselves up, the future will be wonderful.” – from an interview with Steve Aoki, Neon Future Sessions

“Another definition of a hero is someone who is concerned about other people’s well-being, and will go out of his or her way to help them — even if there is no chance of a reward. That person who helps others simply because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero.” – from Cyberspacers

Excelsior!

stan

…and to All a Good Night.

I hope you give all the gifts you wanted to and receive all the gifts you deserve.

I hope you are warm, and well, and loved.

I hope you keep goodwill in your mind, and brotherly love in your heart.

And most of all, I hope you spend Christmas (or your chosen holiday) with those who make you happy and make you feel loved.

Christmas is a special time of year for me. It’s when I feel the gravity of the end of the year. It’s when the people seem to stress more and to care less, so I try to care more and stress less – and share that sentiment onward.

I thrive in the winter. I enjoy the cold, the dark, and especially the snow. It’s particularly easy for me to be cheery around Christmas, even easier when you throw all the holiday magic on top of my already delightful temperament.

But I know it’s not easy for everyone. And I know it can be a bear this time of year.

Not everyone has a family that makes them feel welcome and loved. Not everyone can handle the long, cold dark of winter. Not all appreciate the bustle of the holiday season.

To you most of all, I send my hope that you might end the year on a better note.

It’s not much, but I have a present for you. Plural, actually.

The first is a sentiment. Admittedly, it’s late in the season for it, but, as Bill Murray says, “It’s not too late.” Enjoy:

The second is amusement and cheer. A few friends and I exchange CD compilations periodically through the year. This time around, a Christmas compilation was in order. I have been enjoying it so much, that it didn’t feel right to limit the playlist to just the group. Without further ado:

https://open.spotify.com/embed/user/1272665463/playlist/6TTcwQWEUfjsVHzAKmUrvt

Lastly, I share with you the secret of Christmas cheer:

If you still can’t find your Christmas spirit, hang in there. The new year is coming. In the meantime, please reach out for help. The holidays are not a time to be alone, especially if you are suffering or depressed.

Merry Christmas, from me to you.

Humblebrag…

But not really. Or at least, not in the actual definition of the word, but the etymological breakdown of it. A humble brag. Because I cannot possibly fathom not sharing this with you all, as it is equal parts amazing and wonderful, but it is still a humbling experience.

So, the long story short is that a friend bought my book for her cousin, an avid reader. Sometime after that, the word comes to me that not only did she like the book, but she has a YouTube channel and is going to do a video review of my book. (At this point, news of such things is as terrifying as it is exciting, as you might imagine.) Time goes by and I hear nothing. Then, all at once, there is a link in my email. “Book Reviews #40: House of Thirteen” it says.

It’s another couple of days before I can bring myself to click the link.

Reviews are scary. They can build you up, or demolish you. Sometimes both at the same time. What you hope the readers will love is sometimes built up too much in your head and they need to point that out to you. Sometimes I rush into reviews like a masochist, but those are always just words. As I learned long ago, “words can never hurt me.” Yeah, right.

This is not just words, though. This is video. This is words with pictures. 1000 words for every picture. 29.97 pictures every second of the video. It adds up to a mountain of intimidation.

But I finally suck it up and click the link, bracing myself for the ugly truth… and what waits there for me is not the reason I will quit writing, but the reason I will persevere. There’s an excitement in her voice that we’ve all heard before: that sound we make when we are excited and want to share this amazing thing we’ve discovered. Except she’s not talking about some random interest – she’s talking about my book!

It’s a walking-on-clouds kind of feeling, and it will last until I realize that I have to somehow raise the stakes in House of Thirteen, Book Two in order to meet expectations.

And that brings us back to terrified, because that’s what I’m trying to write now.

I thought this was a nice segue to announcing the follow-up to House of Thirteen. Book Two will continue the story, and take us further into the mysteries that revolved around out beloved Delaneys. I’m looking very forward to figuring out what kind of trouble Ren and Joe are getting themselves into, as well as what sisters we’ll be introduced to next. And I hope that it will fulfill my expectations, and surpass those of my readers.

To answer Gabby’s one question that I am able to (but not really) in a bit of detail: I do plan on addressing what and why the Delaneys are what they are in more detail. I hope to answer every question I have threaded into the story before I end the series. Unfortunately, there are going to be more questions that answers for the time being, but I’ll get to them all in time. If I don’t, feel free to ask me again.

You can view the House of Thirteen review below. You can follow Gabby on Facebook and Twitter.

If you haven’t reviewed House of Thirteen (or any of my other stories) yourself, please do.

Finally, thank you, Gabby. This means a lot to me.curiousowl

 

Silver Linings…

It’s been an interesting year.

Everyone seems to have an opinion about 2016, be it good or bad. Political turmoil and celebrity tragedy aside, I have found that a number of these moments have kind of tainted my year end. With that came a skewed view of the year, retroactively. It became a dark cloud that threatened to envelope the last three hundred sixty-five days when in reality, it’s been a pretty good year.

Truly, it’s not an epiphany I came to on my own – no emotional realization is ever my own doing. It’s the work of a lot of different sources talking me off a lot of simultaneous (and metaphorical) ledges. But eventually, I usually come around.

Like always, when I finally do, I strap on the optimism and redouble my efforts to be a positive influence. Really, that is my favorite thing about this time of year. The unbridled love and kinship for our fellow man, even and especially in the face of adversity. It’s so easy to be bleak, but to cling to optimism and look with blind hope toward the coming year, that is magic. It’s a wonder we haven’t found a way to manufacture this sense of togetherness and optimism at other points of the year. It really is something we should work on.

Obviously, that ball drop at midnight is not some magical eraser. The new year doesn’t come as a clean slate that forgives and forgets. Pain and loss will still be there, depleted savings will still be depleted. But there is hope. There is always hope. And like last year and many years before it, here I am again, ready to draw back the curtain on a coming year.

I wish that you have all the best things happen to you this next year.
I hope that you find joy in all things, no matter how small.
I pray that you not only feel the goodness in the world around you, but that you push that goodness forward into all those around you.
And I hope that even if none of this happens to you, if nothing good happens to you at all, I hope that you still have a silver lining to gaze upon.

I wanted to track down some sort of inspirational quote to sign off the year with, but I kept thinking back to something I wrote myself. It’s self-serving, yes, but it’s also something I mean with all my heart. It was the first taste of holiday goodness to reach out to me this year, and I hope it instills you with the same fire that possessed me to write it in the first place.

SONY DSC

Thank you all for a wonderful 2016.

Happy New Year.

Christmas Wishes and Humble Thanks

When it comes right down to it, I don’t write because I want to be famous. I don’t even write because I’m good at it – that’s completely subjective, anyway. People tell me I am a good writer, I have no reason not to believe them. I’m a writer because I have stories to tell. Stories that want to be told, and they have no one else but me to tell them… those poor, unfortunate souls.

I love to write, but I wouldn’t say I’m very good at the process. I get bogged down by the difficulties inherent in world building, by characters that don’t want to adhere to their own motivations, by all of the steps required to go from that spark in my brain to a finished novel. It’s exhausting, and sometimes I think that I can’t possibly keep going.

But I keep going. And here’s the rub: I write for me, first and foremost. If I didn’t enjoy doing it, I probably wouldn’t bother. But I also keep going because of everyone else who won’t let me fail.

Obviously, there are the people who buy my books and who leave me wonderful reviews that help rejuvenate me, but it goes far beyond that. I am surrounded by talented people who are willing to invest their time and skills to help me improve mine. Wonderful friends full of heart who continue to push me forward when I don’t think I have it in me anymore. People whose lives have sometimes only briefly touched mine, but have left me so much better for having that moment between us.

I am blessed to know so many amazing people who I will never be able to thank enough. If there were time to write enough books to dedicate one to each of the people in my life, I could fill a library with my thanks. That will probably not be the case – though not for lack of trying.

I can only say thank you.

Thank you from the very bottom of my heart.
Thank you for all of the support and encouragement from my first release up to now.
Thank you for all the future support I will receive.
Thank you for being my stepping stones to whatever comes next.
Thank you for everything.

Merry Christmas to you and yours, and a Happy New Year to us all. One full of promise and potential and the best of surprises.